I've been a pretty lousy friend lately.

Here I am in a new place, surrounded by new people, and I'm completely overloaded with all sorts of new experiences and information. But do I turn to my absolute best friend in the whole world for support?

No. Instead I leave my bible on my bedside table and talk to Him when it's convenient for me.

What kind of friend is that?

I have this weird habit of pursuing Jesus when everything is good, but I forget to turn to Him when things get tough.  It seems pretty counter intuitive, but I suppose it's the weird control freak in me. When everything is going the way I want, I joyfully praise God for the blessings he has rained down on me. But as soon as something goes awry, I'm determined to fix it on my own.  

When will I ever learn?

I'm incredibly lonely right now.  

Adjusting to new people and places has always been hard for me (and yet I actively seek it out...I should probably see someone about that).  I can be cripplingly shy, and at the same time fiercely independent,  and so I end up spending a lot of time alone.

Alone with my fears and my doubts and insecurities...

And yet, if I would just let Him, Jesus would happily fill that lonely space in my heart and give me more comfort and support than I could ever need.  

It's time to stop fighting so hard to keep my head above water and jump on my eternal life raft.  No more excuses. I have Jesus in my heart and that's all I need.